Two steps forward, but always behind the pack...

If I always had a camera behind my head, I'd probably get a lot more done in life. I'm incredibly indecisive about what I say, and what I do. Another solution to this problem would be to just bubble wrap everything in town, besides my house that I'm so familiar with :| Really though, it's not so much that it becomes apparent to people, but I do get very surprised looks when I react to a situation so quickly. For instance, when I worked at Pizza Hut, I'd see someone attempting to balance a few too many dishes, walk somewhere near me, and I hear the slight grind of a plate against a glass, and know(from my far peripheral)that a glass is about to shatter. So, as I stop the terrible would-be accident from happening, I gain a bit more notoriety for someone with incredibly fast reflexes. Then the next day, I'm feeling a bit down, so I'm not as peripherally aware, and get hit in the face with a ball of dough. Ha, ha, ha... Then I get jaw dropping stares because I was expected to have seen that coming, because of my prior "stunts". I might not be painting very clear pictures here, but, this is all in good fun, no malice, so laugh it up :)

My empathy levels are through the roof, but I'm appaled by almost every thing I pity.

When I have the extra slack, I like to surrender it to someone who needs it, almost no matter the situation(driving being the exception, incredibly defensive driver). The problem is, I haven't had the slack for quite a while now, and it's stressing me out beyond belief! Without my family's support, I'd surely be a bum; but if I had a dollar in my pocket, I'd still think it would have much more worth being in the hands of someone less fortunate than I.
As far as me being appalled, it just seems like my brain forgets to stop rewarding bad behavior. So many people that I had previously decided were deserving help, seem to continually change for the worse. The more you help, the more help they need. I know the ultimate solution is to escape this crap town, for a town that's at least, less crappy. I'm being realistic, because I know problems follow you wherever you go; but hopefully enough problems will stay back to keep me more comfortable than I am presently.

I'm random, I'm a recluse, I'm conceded from how I filter out the bad people/things from the good.

Blog has only been a word I've heard before today, but I'm open to new things. I just don't think any of the social networking sites I've used work. I haven't logged into facebook for 2-3 weeks, and I just don't plan on ever doing so again. I can't find real people anywhere due to my social awkwardness, and due to my nervousness, it's incredibly difficult to find words, on the spot.. I just clammer up, and bite my tongue for fear of making myself appear foolish. This only complicates, just as all of my social weirdnesses do, as it makes everyone wonder what might be going on in my mind; as I only crack my mouth open, only to lose the confidence of what I was about to say having any real merit.

I am seeking like-minded people, as a sort of support group. I think we could really help each other out with questions and life experiences shared. Though I'm incredibly particular with whom I confide in, I would still give anyone, and everyone a chance. I wish I could do a cleaner-cut job of elaborating what's going on in my cloudy mind, but this is what I could mash together real quick. Random, the word that best defines me. Social recluse, as I read on another blog, also screams my name.